It's a damn cold night...

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
いつか失ってしまうのかな。薄れてゆく笑顔と君を守りたい。
-- D-technolife

If fate is a wheel, then we are the sand that is crushed between the cogs.

Don't judge a life by one difficult season.

独自并不代表孤单,在一群人中狂笑着有时更寂寞。
-- 吴庆康

At times it may not even seem rational, but the heart has a computing ability that is far more accurate and far more precise than anything within the limits of rational thought.
-- Deepak Chopra
于是我让孤独更孤独,有一种不是悲伤的悲伤,才是刻骨铭心的悲伤。
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
-- St Francis.
People's actions are influenced by their expectations. People respond not just to what is happening now, but to what they anticipate will happen in the future.
-- Sloman
不管你会不会忘了我,我只想告诉你一个秘密。
--《不能说的·秘密》

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind.
-- Deepak Chopra

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death but when I stand in front of you yet you don't know that I love you.
-- Tagore
Do do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.
-- Matt 6:34

まだ不器用に笑うね まだ悲しみが似合うから
キミに降る痛みを 拭ってあげたい すべて I for you
-- I For You

the optimistic pessimist

supposedly an adult, she thinks like an adult (too much, if you ask me). deep inside, she is nothing but a little girl, with her little lofty dreams and ideals. and oops, she is breaking them, one by one.
more often than not, she is just an angsty emo kid.

she is only but
a passer-by,

an onlooker,
a walking shadow.

and this girl can't stop writing.

she stalks

|| cyn bea bao zou mel ||
|| joan weepz xuan huimin barney eunice ||
|| kaiyun florentina joseph ||
|| blockc ck weicheng yeanching lehia minghui kexi zhenlin yeevoon yikhung horace mingzhe sweefoo alvin enghooi dina sandra ||
|| becca adel ||
|| tzehee fungus boonkian ||
|| cruzteng peifen dasmondkoh ||
|| xiaozhu ashin ||
|| derrick jinglun kelly ||
|| natho joshua dyt feliciachin bangjun bryanwong quanyifong ||
|| xiaohan hyr wujiahui chimkang mingde dannyyeo ||
|| xuyunling esther ||

After all, what is in the past but what we choose to remember? They can choose not to hide it, to take what's broken, to feel the pain and know that it will heal. They know where happiness lies, not in a cave or a country, but in love and the freedom to give and take what has been there all along.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

she watches on

Others desire to experience the blessedness of giving, but we often frustrate them by refusing their help.


“你有心事吗?”
“或许有一天,我会告诉你吧。”
--《不能说的·秘密》

she holds on

 Memories were also a way of looking in a mirror, but it was a jagged mirror of broken glass, one that cast imperfect reflections. Like shards, these memories drew blood.

February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009

she never gets

you.

Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself... Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.
-- Deepak Chopra

she thanks

Designer : Wei Jun
Brushes : Deviantart - Spy Glass

I don't know, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pair of eyes and ears, and I'm just trying to stay safe and make sense of what's happening. I know what to avoid, what to worry about.I'm like those kids who live with gunfire going off around them. I don't want pain. I don't want to die. I don't want to see other people around me die. But I don't have anything left inside me to figure out where I fit in or what I want. If I want anything, it's to know what's possible to want.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Tuesday, July 14, 2009
withers away @ 11:07 PM

寂寞先生 - 曹格

你的笑容是恩惠
世界難得那麼美
於是追 要你陪
可惜本能總會將美麗汗水
化成淚水 

黑夜之所以會黑
叫醒人心裡的鬼
在遊說 在縈迴
在體內是什麼在把我摧毀
在傷痕累累

我可以無所謂
寂寞卻一直掉眼淚
人類除了擅長頹廢 做什麼都不對
喔 I’m not okay

我假裝無所謂
才看不到心被擰碎
人在愛情裡越殘廢 就會越多安慰
無論 有多虛偽

空虛並非是詞彙
能夠形容的魔鬼
它支配 著行為
能擺脫寂寞我什麼 都肯給
就像個傀儡

It's something Mystical

Wednesday, July 08, 2009
withers away @ 4:21 PM

我真的打从心里为他感到心痛。我想安慰,却不知自己可以做什么。那些小的,了解他的心痛吗?
原来最痛的不是自己被椅子砸,而是别人砸在他们身上的一字一句。听到那些话,砸在自己心头真的很不是滋味,而他们却浑然不知。

It's something Mystical

Thursday, June 25, 2009
withers away @ 1:36 AM

on a separate note, i hope this did something for 23. i really do hope so.

It's something Mystical

Tuesday, June 23, 2009
withers away @ 7:11 PM

恍如隔世
接到那电话,听到那声音,就是这种感觉。我从来不很了解那是什么意思,今天我明白了。

"hiya u know what to do lah."
最后她说的这句话,让我听到了累积十年的信任。
尽在不言中

thank God for...
letting us find whoever who found along the way.
letting this happen when i have the time to handle and correspond.
letting me be at cyn's place when i got the call.
friends willing to handle the police with me.
guiding me to come up with the reason which could hoodwink. (i tell u all that prison break helped. i tried to think like michael. tried.)
the very helpful and efficient counsellor and sch admin.
her rmbring my no.
making my registration be today so that i'll be awake and my phone will be on for me to pick up the call.
friends who are willing to listen and get themselves involved.
letting me hear that voice i've heard everyday in school for five years.

It's something Mystical

Friday, June 19, 2009
withers away @ 12:53 AM

我突然有种想法,很怪很不尊敬的想法。我要先说抱歉,对这世界成千上万的说抱歉,但是我的的确确有了这想法。
“天下父母心”这句话,有没有害死过谁?

It's something Mystical

Friday, June 05, 2009
withers away @ 10:54 PM

i like how these season-after-season dramas allow the characters to grow without being too sudden, because there are enough episodes for them to change at a more realistic rate. just have this little, little complaint about them.
no, finales are not supposed to be like that.
but its ok. we wait for the next season. we wait. because the new season will come. it will come. be it with old characters or with new additions, a new season will come.

day 4 and counting. bring back my bonnie to me.

It's something Mystical

Wednesday, June 03, 2009
withers away @ 12:45 PM

i miss my emobaby and im insanely worried about my emobaby, among other things.
and no, it doesnt help that i cant do anything about anything.
maybe the best and only help i can offer is not to offer help.

It's something Mystical